So I was going to do a myspace survey, but then i realised that they all ask the same questions, and anybody who cares enough to read it, already knows my answers. So, i've decided to waste my time on something more productive. Writing in my diary, that nobody else can read, except for of course anybody with the internet and the patience.
So I was getting attatched to this boy that I call jenny, which if anybody from work reads this, they'll know exactly who i mean but i don't really care anymore. but jenny is 17 and going off to college. I'm kinda sad about both of those things, I mean he's jailbait, and i don't get to see him anymore? How fair is that? He says i'll see him again, but things never turn out that way.
I guess the thing is, i'm starting to think that maybe this perpetually single thing isn't working out for me. All my friends have somebody, so when we hang out, i'm always the odd girl out. Finding a guy who comes close to being worthy of me, and is in the slightest bit interested, is harder than it seems. I mean, honestly, why is it always the ugly ones that are ballsy enough to say things to me? And when there's somebody that I'm comfortable with, and vise versa, they always leave. Whether temporary or long term, it's always long enough to make things awkward when i see them again.
damn. I quit.
14 August 2008
alas.
Posted by CanadianLlamaLuv! at 11:09 PM
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2 comments:
Rule #1 a guy being under age is not jailbait...that only constitutes for women...i think it's because women have to go on blabbing there mouth about shit...and you want to wait till your married so no it wouldn't matter no matter what.
Also if he is a good guy hes not lying..you'll see him again. Sarah started talking to me again...so i'm going to come up north prolly around the newyear for if anything a make out session. I don't know if her and I will ever be together. but i'll enjoy what i got while i can.
also one thing that we both do...and it will be a hard habbit to break is...we look at those certain people from a distance and say there not worthy of us. when we really don't know. when you get down to a more intimate lvl where there more open and willing to share themselves when there the most vulnerable is when you truly see if someone is worthy of you...for example Sarah has this notion of who i am. besides the mall we have hung out like 4 times at her house and hersey, and on the 4th of july...how can she possably make an assumption and tell me this is who i am?
I think she has been hurt by someone like me and is afraid to move forword....as am I. I got hurt very badly with my first relationship so now I demand certain things before i'd even think about going out with a girl. but my demands are impossible nowadays it seems...maybe a few hundred years ago yeah...but not now...one of them is I really want a women to be single for awhile....so i know that she is not just using me to get over the other guy etc etc. that isn't the way people work nowadays...so all i'm doing is sitting alone by myself trying to keep that smile on my face while all my friends are having a good ol time with there significant others...
Like right now...Sarah is going out with someone...i know this and i really don't care...i've told her when i come back up there I'm kissing her...and she has not had any rejections too that....this is going to be one of those wierd relationships that may never come to fruition but to me she is an amazing girl and i'll take what i can get.
you should too....example keep in contact with that guy...send each other pictures and what not...thats what were doing...keep something there but don't let the world go by as your doing it...because everybody deserved to be loved and i'm sure he knows this.
wow.....this was long...sorry...lol and this might be useless info too :D
I am sorry that singledom is not working out for ya, but it never does for the young. It certainly didn't suit me once upon a time.
If it is any help it has been my experience that a pleasing smile and beautiful hair, for example, are great, but a gentle heart, a bright demeanor, and true love for living are the most worthy things a person can possess. People like that, who have learned to love and accept themselves, are the ones that can really love and accept another best. Unfortunately, they are hard to find, so I wish you the best of luck.
-zee Vec
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